Compassion is not a relationship between a healer and a victim.
This is an equality-based relationship.
We can only be present with the darkness of others when we are thoroughly aware of our own darkness.
We live in a culture that places blame; we want to know who is to blame and how they will be held accountable.
In our social, political, and interpersonal worlds, we frequently rage and point fingers, but we hardly ever hold people accountable.
How could we possibly?
We lack the energy to create and implement meaningful consequences because we are too worn out from yelling and raving.
We’re so full of self-righteous rage and so short on compassion.
Wouldn’t it be better if we could be firmer while also being kind?
If there was less rage and more responsibility, how would our lives change?
What would our professional and personal lives be like if we blamed less and respected boundaries more?
Establishing boundaries and holding people accountable takes a lot more effort than criticising and accusing.
The effectiveness, however, is substantially greater.
Shaming and accusing without holding one another accountable is poisonous for relationships, families, groups, and communities.
We find it challenging to understand how we can be compassionate and caring while still holding people accountable for their actions.
We can, and doing it that way is actually the greatest way to go about it.
We don’t have to berate or degrade someone in order to discipline them, confront them about their behaviour, fire them, fail them academically, or fail them for something else.
Separating people from their actions and focusing on what they do rather than who they are is the key.
scarlette's whisper 