Life Coach Session: Have you ever caught yourself in a situation where you keep blaming yourself?

Have you ever caught yourself in a situation where you keep blaming yourself?

For many of us, self-blame and criticism are insidious. We’re unrelenting with our demands and expectations and we’re our own worst critic when things don’t go as planned or we don’t perform perfectly.

Self-criticism and self-blame are acquired behaviours. Your inner critic might have its roots in a criticising or blaming parent, teacher, friend, or member of your family. 

Children lack a strong sense of self, making them more susceptible to blame, fury, and criticism. They base their perception of themselves on what other people think. As a result, you probably developed a belief in it if you were constantly informed that you are dependent or foolish. 

Our unfavourable beliefs may also be a result of things that weren’t stated or done for us when we were young. For instance, if your parents didn’t pay attention to your feelings, the implication was that you don’t matter and neither do your feelings.

When criticism, blame, verbal abuse, and emotional neglect are chronic, we internalise this critical voice and make it our own. We continue to repeat these negative false beliefs (I’m ugly, I’m stupid, it’s all my fault, I’m worthless) and reinforce them until they become automatic.

We have to move past in order to move forward in our lives. Dwelling on a bad decision will only serve to exacerbate the negative feelings you have toward yourself. It may be tough, but in order to get where you want to be, you have to start forgiving yourself.

Don’t blame; assume responsibility instead 

You acknowledge that you erred when you accept responsibility for your deeds. Avoid attempting to place the blame on others. Admitting a mistake requires a strong-willed individual, yet it must be done in order to clear your conscience. If you don’t take ownership of your actions, people may continue to point the finger at you nonstop for the rest of your life. By taking ownership of your actions, you demonstrate that you recognize your error and you want to go on with improving yourself.

love yourself 

By placing the responsibility on yourself, you defame yourself. You can concentrate on your positive qualities when you take ownership of your activities (responsibility being one of them). Take care of yourself. Be honest with yourself about your weaknesses as well as your strengths. By doing this, you can concentrate on enhancing both your personality’s good traits and its strengths.

help others 

You surely possess a variety of skills, but if you spend your time moping around, you’ll never use them. Use your knowledge to assist others and give back to your neighbourhood. You’ll sense that you’re drifting further and further away from your mistakes. Start establishing who you are based on the philanthropic work you do. Another excellent method to broaden your perspective on the world is to volunteer. It might also help you discover what your genuine purpose in life is.

As for myself, whenever I found myself dwelling on past transgressions, I would tell myself that I believed there must have been a good reason for what I had done. I firmly think that at the time, I had a good reason to act or make those decisions, even though that reason may have altered now. I can boost my self-esteem in this way. Eventually, everything happens for a reason, right?

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