I have a lot of good friends, but just a few of them I can count on to be compassionate while I’m in a dark, shameful place.
If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they could easily end up being another piece of flying debris in an already disastrous storm. In a case like this, we desire a strong connection whom we can completely rely on.
For this to happen, we should absolutely keep clear of the following:
1. The companion who, upon hearing the story, truly feels sorry for you. She lets out a gasp, confirming how horrified you need to feel. Then there is awkward silence. Then you might need to help her feel better.
2. The companion who, rather than expressing empathy (I understand, I feel with you, and I’ve been there), expresses compassion (I feel so bad for you). Throw one of these at a storm and watch it turn deadly: “Oh, you miserable thing.” Or the exceedingly passive-aggressive form of sympathy: “Bless your heart.”
3. The friend that depends on you to uphold their sense of integrity and worth. She is unable to assist because she is too dissatisfied with your flaws. You have failed her.
4. The friend who openly mocks you for allowing this to happen because she is so uncomfortable with your vulnerability. What were you considering? She may also seek out someone to hold accountable: “Who was that guy? We’ll kick him in the ass.
5. The friend who is constantly trying to make things better but, out of discomfort, refuses to accept that you can genuinely be insane and make poor decisions: “You’re making things up. Not really that horrible. You thrive. You are perfect. People still love you.
6. The friend who misunderstands “connection” with the chance to outdo you: “It isn’t much. Have a look at what occurred to me once!”
scarlette's whisper 
3 responses to “Life Coach Session: what type of friends do you have”
Wow, another great little post. I followed you because I like finding and following other bloggers that write articles for helping others to improve themselves and their lives, being we (my wife Roze and I) try to post similar type of content. Your posts stand out because you have such a unique personal way of getting your message across.
Really enjoyed reading your post. People who call them selves your friend that is either negative or toxic are not really friends and therefore always best to try and weed them out of your life as best as you can. Have a wonderful day.
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I sincerely appreciate your support of my article. Honestly, your words encourage me to continue writing articles as well. I’m incredibly grateful for it.
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Have beautiful days ahead.
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Wow that is such a kind offer, we appreciate that. I am glad to be able to offer support. Also most certainly keep writing. If you plant a seed and a tree grows, after you are gone. It still produces fruit which others benefit from. You just didn’t get to see or hear about it.
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