Have you ever caught yourself in a situation where you keep blaming yourself?
For many of us, self-blame and criticism are insidious. We’re unrelenting with our demands and expectations and we’re our own worst critic when things don’t go as planned or we don’t perform perfectly.
Self-criticism and self-blame are acquired behaviours. Your inner critic might have its roots in a criticising or blaming parent, teacher, friend, or member of your family.
Children lack a strong sense of self, making them more susceptible to blame, fury, and criticism. They base their perception of themselves on what other people think. As a result, you probably developed a belief in it if you were constantly informed that you are dependent or foolish.
Our unfavourable beliefs may also be a result of things that weren’t stated or done for us when we were young. For instance, if your parents didn’t pay attention to your feelings, the implication was that you don’t matter and neither do your feelings.
When criticism, blame, verbal abuse, and emotional neglect are chronic, we internalise this critical voice and make it our own. We continue to repeat these negative false beliefs (I’m ugly, I’m stupid, it’s all my fault, I’m worthless) and reinforce them until they become automatic.
We have to move past in order to move forward in our lives. Dwelling on a bad decision will only serve to exacerbate the negative feelings you have toward yourself. It may be tough, but in order to get where you want to be, you have to start forgiving yourself.
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